Nobody has the ability to read minds, not in the real world. Therefore one should never presume to know what someone else is thinking, to know what someone else thinks of them. It's a perfectly logical line of argument, yes, but still I can't seem to make myself fully accept it. Genuinely I find it hard to believe that anyone can look at me with anything other than contempt, revulsion, hatred, dislike, disgust... (That list could go on for quite a while).
As much as part of me desperately wants to think otherwise, there will always be a larger part of me insisting that I'm misreading the situation, or that this person is looking to use me in some way. There simply has to be some sort of ulterior motive to come near something like me... Especially given how I keep saying or doing the wrong thing on a very regular basis. So, come on then, what is it?
Right now I could probably delve into any number of different memories and experiences that have helped to reenforce this idea so firmly in my mind, but doing so would serve only to depress me even further right now. And as I have essay work to be doing later, I really can't afford to be setting myself off this late in the day. An awful lot of time can be lost that way. Besides, this is a subject I'm almost certain to return to.
No comments:
Post a Comment